GONE LIKE A GOLDFISH by Anonymous

 5 GOLD stars

On Amazon (universal link)

On Goodreads

Blurb from Amazon

Alcoholic novelist Jim Hardwick-Callahan intends to kill himself at the end of one last sex-filled vacation to Japan with his ex-girlfriend, but a death in the family interrupts his plans. As the tragedies pile up and his life falls apart, his teenage twins begin to self-destruct. This anonymously written book is about loss and obsession. It is sad, vulgar, disturbing, and funny.

My Review

Excellent stuff, I loved it.

Jim Hardwick-Callahan deploys hedonism to mask his disappointment with himself, his guilt and pain, and because he really likes sex and drugs.  The temporary buzzes of alcohol, psychedelics, weed, recreational and kinky sex do a good job of masking the emptiness that calls out to him now and again. 

I stayed awake to finish it last night when I needed to sleep, because I was totally absorbed.  Then of course I lay awake thinking about it.  It's that sort of book.  This is a terrific writer, unusually so.  The book was produced in a very short time - this is mentioned in the author's note at the back, which you should definitely read - so I was surprised at how tight it was, such a great structure, spot-on dialogue and detailed labyrinths of inner thought that were sometimes so sad, other times droll, or breezy, or a mixture of all three.  The novel is perfectly paced, with never a wasted word.

Megan, with whom he is in love, is the main female character in that her actress name will appear second in the titles after that of Jim's when they make the film.  She's clever, creative and elusive, and has way too many issues for one person.  Just Jim's type.  

BTW, in case this marks your point of departure.  The Megan bits often contain lots of bad language and sex, some of it quite graphic.  Normally, I would choose not to read that, but I made an exception. It fits the book ... hard to explain.  If Jim had talked/thought/acted in a more delicate way it wouldn't have been Jim, it would have been a far less arresting character.  In other words, none of it is remotely gratuitous.  And it's often funny.

The book features scenes about Jim's father, Pete - I loved reading about him, and Jim's strange brother Cray.  Jim's twins Amanda and Todd are essentially sound kids but are both screwed up in the way only teenagers can be.  Enter ex-wife Pam.  Jim's relationship with her is subtly amusing.  Kind of tired.  The areas of friction are still there, but they've gone limp.  

Then there are the other women, comprising past, present and promising hook-ups.  

As Jim's world starts getting smaller, he becomes trapped in his own head...

Amongst all the grimly entertaining chaos are many threads of introspection, anger, loss and heartbreak laid bare.  A small amount of words that can illustrate the emotion so starkly; at one point I stopped reading in admiration.  'Boy can this guy write' moments were off the charts.  I expect I shall read it again before too long.

It's a snip at 77p, or free on Kindle Unlimited.

MOMENTS OF CONSEQUENCE by Thorne Moore @ThorneMoore #RBRT

5 GOLD stars

On Amazon (universal link)
On Goodreads

How I discovered this book: it was submitted to Rosie's Book Review Team, of which I am a member, but I'd already downloaded it anyway.

In a Nutshell: Short stories, dark themes.  Mostly.

What a treat this book is. It's not very often that you read a short story collection in which every one is a gem, but such is the case with Moments of Consequence. Every single one is beautifully written and perfectly plotted whilst wending its way down unexpectedly murky corridors. Some bloody ones, too, like the horrific Chef's Special, in which the main character comes up with an ingenious way of dealing with her staff problems, and It Was Late June, an every day story of country folk in a village that just happens to have an active Satanic society. These two are seriously gruesome, dark humour at its best. As is A Midsummer Nightmare, a brutal tale of revenge.

My favourites:

Dare Devil: about three students who, drunkenly, dare each other to commit the perfect murder.

Dances on the Head of a Pin: two time-lines, two main characters. One, in modern times, tries to interview random passersby about transubstantiation. The other, in the perilous days of Bloody Mary Tudor, is condemned for not believing in this (that the communion sacrament is the actual body and blood of Christ).

The Food of Love: a 'foodie' wife, who fails to see the the impact her obsession is having on her marriage...

Away in a Manger: about a homeless young artist, at Christmas time.

Piggy in the Middle: The story of Mary Bennett, the forgotten middle daughter in Pride and Prejudice.

As You Sow: A mother laments the choices her adult children have made, considering them a personal affront. I love stories like this in which the reader can read between the lines about what's actually going on, whereas the blinkered narrator cannot.

...and the last one, Footprints, showing snapshots of everyone who lived in a house, going back down the decades. I too am, as Thorne Moore says, fascinated by houses and the secrets they reveal. Footprints made me think of books by Norah Loft: The House Trilogy, and A Wayside Tavern.

All the stories are long, something to get your teeth into. It's stunningly good, all the way through. Highly, highly recommended - can't emphasise this too much!

PSITTACIDE by @ZebHaradon

 5 out of 5 stars

On Amazon (universal link)
On Goodreads

How I discovered this book: a favourite author, have read Book #1 of the series.

In a Nutshell: The crazy world of 2172

Psittacide is set 150 years in the future, when former stand-up comedian Jim Liu navigates the world of American politics in which authenticity and any real values or integrity are forgotten relics of the past.  And if you think that sounds pretty much like 2024, with all potential leaders resorting to blatant lying and any desperate tricks they can to discredit the opposition, you wait until you meet Silas Blackwolf and Oliver O'Shea.

The shifting of political stances means that the Democrats have become conservatives and the Republicans the liberals, which made me think of the main UK parties, whose lines have blurring for many years now; who knows what their agenda(s) will be in 2172?

In the future world between these pages, most of the bad stuff predicted by the cynics/realists of the current day has happened - drug dependency and sex clubs are the norms (Jim and his girlfriend keep a sex robot under the bed), the attention span of the masses has shortened to the extent that a writer of Blankpage books can win a prize for literature - Karl's process is to think up a concept, brief outline and title, let his terminal design a cover, and publish.  That's it.  'Other than the summary of the plot on the back cover and by Karl on the front, all pages would be blank'.  Fake has become real: actors don't need to be present to act in films, politicians don't have to attend vote-winning activities, whole civilisations can be artificially created for the screen - anything can be rendered to look as if it actually happened.  Populations live in virtual reality without knowing it.

Sometimes it seems as though this novel is a comment on/lampoon of events and people in the present world, other times just the product of Mr Haradon's entertaining thought processes.  The title refers to the strange diseases affecting parrots everywhere.  Those genetically modified parrots, that is, who play such an important part in the new world.  I loved the observations of one character who predicts the worrying rise of the parrots, now that racism is a thing of the past (as everyone is, in 2172, a mixture of ethnicities).

I liked it more than the first book in the series, which I found a bit scattered.  I look forward to Book 3, Bubblequake - which refers to the bigger inside than outside residences (like the Tardis): the bubbles.

It's great - and may make you glad you were born in the 20th century.

THE DISPOSABLE SOMA by Zeb Haradon @ZebHaradon

 4.5 out of 5 stars

On Amazon (universal link)
On Goodreads

How I discovered this book: One of my favourite authors, so I always get his books as they come out.

In a Nutshell: Bonkers but clever look at US politics in the 22nd century.

I haven't got a clue how to review this book, which is unlike anything else I have ever read, aside from other books by this author, but this is the most off-the-wall yet.  I highlighted a lot of passages that made me laugh or that I thought were a particularly clever observation of human nature, or send-up of the current political climate/culture of the 21st century and where it could eventually head, but when I came to look at them they didn't feel like anything that might help me with a review.  This made me think that I highlighted them for want of anyone to say 'ha ha, this is funny (or pertinent, or whatever)' to.

It's around 2163, and it seems that society has deteriorated and become way more bizarre by today's standards, at the same time as being perfectly believable.  It centres around election time - here is an extract from the blurb: 

'...an upstart party called the Empathy Party blames all the world's ills on sociopaths. An assassination leaves the Empathy Party's candidacy wide open and a clown car of candidates vies for the nomination. One, hotel heir and failed comedian Jim Liu, stands out from the others when he chooses a genetically modified, super-intelligent, opium-addicted parrot as his running mate.'

I'll admit that the idea of a genetically modified parrot as a running mate didn't quite work for me at first, even when considering its origin, i.e., Zeb Haradon's head, but it started to gel as the story continued, especially when coming from the viewpoint of the parrots, who see themselves as a marginalised sector of society, and are looking to Jim to help them fight for their rights.  Betty is a hilarious character.  

'It's quite a gamble.  But come to think of it, Dan Quayle was vice president, so I guess Betty Parrot isn't such a stretch.'

'You really trust her with a wing on the button?'

One of my favourite elements of this book is the concept of the last uncontacted people on earth, the primitive Centolese from Centos Island, who are unaware that their world has been turned into a reality show.

'Initially, it was an entertainment event financed by The Centolese Network, but as more and more Americans emulate the Centolese way of life and have come to identify as Centolese-Americans...'  Row of laughing face emojis here!  The historic timeline of Centos Island is extremely funny and clever.

I also like the idea of bubble technology - think of Dr Who's Tardis, much bigger on the inside than the outside.  Those financing Jim Liu's campaign are the innovators of the bubbles, which will revolutionise farming, housing, land tax and much more.  And I liked the faux 'spirituality' of those getting off their faces at ayahuasca ceremonies; in this hedonistic tomorrow where religious doctrine and morality as we know them have ceased to exist, anything goes.  Though I daresay the inner workings of political campaigns are no different now, give or take the odd parrot and 172-year-old candidate.

The ending was perfect.  I'll just hand this back to Kindle Unlimited, and download the next, in its place, to read before too long :)

COUSIN CALLS by Zeb Haradon @zebharadon

5 GOLD stars

On Amazon
On Goodreads

How I discovered this book: I've read two other books (The Usurper King and The Last Feast) by this author and loved them, so leapt straight on this when I saw that it was out.

In a Nutshell: A novel made up of five stories, all linked - scifi, humour, and some general weirdness that kind of makes sense.

I'll start by saying that this is one of the best books I've read in years.  Zeb Haradon is an outstanding writer; Cousin Calls is five stories linked together, and each one pulls you in and makes you forget that it's part of a larger novel, that you didn't intend to lie on the sofa reading for this long, that it's one in the morning and you really need to get some sleep, etc.  It's just - terrific.

The book is set several decades into the future, in which Harold walks into a bar that used to be a coffin shop one Christmas Eve, following a request from a cousin he has never met, to meet him there.  The bar is almost empty, aside from a couple of drinkers and the bartender.  After telling the bartender why he's there, he is warned about the dire consequences that can befall one after a conversation that begins, 'You don't know me, but we're cousins'.  (This amused me because my sister has recently been exchanging emails with a cousin of ours whom we have never met; I'd never heard of him before.  Take care, Julia...)

An old woman was smoking outside when Harold arrived; she enters the bar, and is invited to tell her 'cousin story', about her invitation to a Texan chili cook-out.  The chili is, she learns, the best in the world due to its secret ingredient.  She attends, along with her ghastly snowflake would-be poet boyfriend ('look, I told you I was an INFJ when you started dating me!'), a beautifully drawn amalgam of every similar example you've ever seen on Twitter.

Next comes Ward, with his job, money and flat worries and a hippocampal implant that will enable him to absorb material learned by others and downloaded online, from their own implants. Alas, he doesn't realise what else he will absorb from these generous donors' minds.  It's hilarious and very clever (and possibly my favourite of the five), but for some reason this is the quote I've highlighted:

'I spent about forty minutes just staring at the spider, envying it.  Imagine - no rent to pay because you literally pull your house out of your ass.'

Then there's Gordon the private detective who takes on a case so disgusting that - well, you'll have to read it.  And even the deer's head on the wall - he is called Alex - has his own cousin story to tell.  That's a good one, involving his slight obsession with the Addams Family and some interesting cervine philosophy.  Last of all we come to Jane, who wasn't able to make it for the Christmas get-together this year; her story is in her journal.  She's the woman who meets this really hot guy and has the best sex of her life, so good that she's able to overlook the fact that he has some rather unattractive pastimes (including genocide and the murdering of small animals), but the deal-breaker is who he supports in the upcoming election - most pertinent in these social media-obsessed days when the expression of one's political views can guarantee banishment to the virtual leper colony.  

Jane's problems involve her mother, trying to earn money during the 2020 Covid pandemic, and her badly behaved son.  Love this: 

     'He definitely has ADHD.' the guy {psychiatrist} said, 'but I'm also going to diagnose him with oppositional defiant disorder.... it's an impulse control disorder.  Chase has a pattern of oppositional and defiant behaviour.'

     'Yes,' I said, 'did you happen to notice that he's nine years old?'

     'It's very fortunate that we caught him this early'

Mr Haradon has a unique style that you need to read for yourself to understand why I'm raving about this book.  It's impossible to categorise, too; yes, it's scifi, yes, it's funny, with the best sort of observational humour, but it's also comment on human nature and modern life, though I get the feeling that Mr H doesn't think about much of this stuff, and just writes.  It's quite horrific in parts - if you're easily offended or disgusted, it won't be for you, though the revolting aspects are oddly inoffensive, somehow.  Probably because the writing itself is just so, so good.  I loved the ending, too.  Wasn't expecting that at all.  I already want to read it from the beginning again, and envy you, dear reader, because you have it yet to enjoy.

Oh, just buy it.  It's great, and I can't do it justice.

Interview with Zeb Haradon

DESIRE & DECEIT by Carol Hedges @caroljhedges #RBRT

5 out of 5 stars

On Amazon UK
On Amazon.com
On Goodreads

How I discovered this book: it was submitted to Rosie's Book Review Team, of which I am a member, but I bought it anyway because I adore this whole series!

In a Nutshell: Victorian Murder Mystery

I've just finished the final outing in this series of stand-alone Victorian murder mysteries, and every one has been a winner.  Frankly I could carry on reading them ad infinitum, but I understand that a writer needs a change now and then!

We enter once more the world of Detectives Stride and Cully, in mid-nineteenth century London, and are introduced to a fine array of characters, many new faces and others whom we have met before.  Of the latter, I particularly like Miss Lucy Landseer, private detective (or 'detector' as the owner of a exclusive tobacconists calls Cully and his protegée Tom Williams), who is the star of one of the secondary storylines; the main one centres around a dead body without a name, the questions being who is he, who killed him, and why?

Ms Hedges' excellent plotting and characterisation shines out on every page, with her familiar themes rippling through the story: the massive chasm of difference between the haves and the have-nots, the pretentiousness of the aspirational lower middle class, the lot of women of all classes, corrupt MPs with their 'jobs for the boys' (no change there then) and complete disinterest in and disregard for the scum of humanity that floats beneath them (i.e., everyone in the country apart from their families and peers).  Then there are the music hall artistes, the conmen, and those who think they can get away with murder.

I very much liked the parliamentary clerk known only as 'the Replacement' (the MP for which he works never does bother to find out his name), and Euphemia Harbinger, an elderly lady facing the end of her life, once celebrated in society, who is more wise and experienced than her grasping, inheritance-chasing family could ever imagine.  I also loved Harriet Harbinger, a young girl being constantly overlooked in favour of her twin brother, who has her sights set on the high seas and adventure.

As ever, the threads of the story were satisfactorily wrapped up, but this time I finished it with a certain sadness, knowing there will not be any more.  This book is an absolute treat, as are all of the other eight.  If you haven't read any of them yet, I envy you!

MATILDA WINDSOR IS COMING HOME by Anne Goodwin @Annecdotist #RBRT

4.5 out of 5 stars

On Amazon UK
On Amazon.com
On Goodreads

How I discovered this book: it was submitted to Rosie's Book Review Team, of which I am a member.

In a Nutshell: Unusual family drama.

I thoroughly enjoyed this novel, which is both entertaining and incredibly sad.  It is set mostly in 1989/90, with flashbacks to the 1930s, and Matty Osborne, also known as Matilda Windsor, has been a resident in psychiatric hospitals for fifty years - since she was around twenty.  The reason given at the time was 'moral turpitude' - in other words, becoming pregnant without being married.  I remember seeing something on television once, a long time ago, about how, in the first half of this century, young girls who were committed to asylums for getting pregnant, and were never let out again.  In this circumstance, Matty eventually lost her mind; her path to this state is not revealed until the end of the book.

She believes that she is in her own stately home - sometimes during the Great War, at other times during World War II - that the other residents are her guests, and the carers are her staff.  The story weaves between three points of view: Matty, a young carer called Janice, and Matty's younger half-brother Henry who doesn't know where she is or why she left home.  The staff of Tuke House have no idea whatsoever what goes on in Matty's head, or probably within the head of any of the residents.  Janice is likable and fun, and I enjoyed the portrayals of the people she worked with, most of them ghastly, grey jobsworths with limited imagination.  She is very much a young woman of the Thatcher years with anti-Thatcher ideals; I felt such a sense of going back over 3 decades when I read about her.

I guessed early on what had led to Matty's dreadful fate, but it's not obvious, and I did change my mind a few times; either way, the fact that we don't know 'how, who and why' adds to the page-turning quality of the book.  When I got to the end of her 1930s story, I could have cried at how alone she was, how there was no-one, anywhere, who would listen to and believe her.  It was so tragic, so shocking, made even more so because you know that this sort of thing happened to so many girls, never mind the stories of some of her friends in the unmarried mothers' home. 

Another element that adds to the suspense is Henry's search for the long lost sister he hardly remembers, and all the near misses when he could have found her but didn't.  They're frustrating; each time I though, oh, they're going to find each other!

I found this book particularly interesting because I've worked at a psychiatric hospital in the past, and because I was reminded of my late mother, who had Alzheimer's for eleven years and lived in a care home for the last seven or so years of her life.  I visited her often; I remember her being under the impression that the place was a hotel, and the carers were waitresses.

Although this story has a certain amount of resolution, I gather there is to be a sequel.  I admit to being a little disappointed as I expected to get to the end and have everything nicely wrapped up - but life isn't like that, and the stories of Matty, Janice and Henry will continue.  I look forward to reading the next book when it appears!

LATER by Stephen King

 4.5 out of 5 stars

On Amazon UK
On Amazon.com
On Goodreads 

How I discovered this book: Amazon browse

In a Nutshell:

I love some Stephen King (The Stand, Misery, Thinner, IT before the bit at the end with the daft spider), but am not a massive fan, finding some of them unnecessarily long with too many daft spiders, etc, but that fabulous cover made me look twice.

Jamie Conklin can see dead people.  As he explains, not like in the Bruce Willis film; he sees them just after they die, for a short period of time until they fade away.  During this time he can talk to them - and once dead, they never lie.

Jamie lives in New York with his mother Tia, a literary agent.  He was a young child when he first discovered he could see the dead; terrified of this at first, he learns to live with it.  The story takes a darker turn when others want to exploit his gift for their own ends.

Of course Mr King is a master storyteller and this had me pretty much glued to the page all the way through; it's gripping, funny, sinister and relatable, all at once, and coasts along nicely, always with the hint that something much, much worse is going to happen.  I enjoyed the whole New York vibe, though I was disappointed by the ending - it just sort of stops.  Like King couldn't think of a really good way to end it, so he wrote the last big action scary bit then wrapped it up.  There's a bit of a twist at the end, but it doesn't have that much bearing on the story.  It's a good length for a quick, couple of days read - about 230 pages - and a book I looked forward to getting back to each time.  If it'd had a worthy ending, I'd have given it 5*.

CHILDREN by Bjørn Larssen @bjørnlarssen

4.5 out of 5 stars

On Amazon UK
On Amazon.com
On Goodreads and BookBub

 
How I discovered this book: I read the author's Storytellers and loved it, so looked forward to this.

In A Nutshell: A re-telling of Norse myths

I'm not the ideal reader for this book, as all I know about Norse mythology is (very) basic information about Odin, Thor, Freya and Loki, what Valhalla and Ragnarok are, and that's about it.  Also, I am not a fan of fantasy, on the whole; magic and hallucinatory goings on - nah, you can keep it.  However, I was hugely impressed by Storytellers and had read some excerpts of this before it was published, which I liked a lot, so wanted to take a look at this.

The main characters, their stories told alternately and in the first person, are Magni, son of Thor, and sorceress Maya, who has had a somewhat difficult upbringing, not least of all under the watchful eye of the goddess Freya, one heck of a piece of work, to say the least.  I liked Maya; she was amusing and spunky.  I loved Magni; yes, even when he was taking part in raids on farms, and killing people.  

Children is atmospheric, clever, brutal, emotional, extremely well-written, intelligent, imaginative, and funny—and the dialogue is spectacularly good, some of the best I've read.  Now and again, the dialogue and Magni's inner thoughts made me laugh out loud, which rarely happens when I read.  The sexual activity in the book does not hold back, but get this: it didn't make me cringe.  And that comes from someone who almost always cringes at sex scenes.  Magni's feelings for Herjólf were so real, so well-portrayed; anyone who has ever been in love (or infatuated with) someone who remains elusive will feel Magni's pain throughout.

My favourite part was when Magni was first involved with the outlaws (I loved Ludo, too!), and I also liked Maya's encounter with Harbard, the idea of Idunn's fruit, Magni's conversations with his father, and the information about what each of the 'worlds' is all about, which interested me enough to look up more about Norse mythology.

Subject-wise, it wasn't absolutely my cup of tea, and I did get a bit confused with all the Norse names sometimes ('hang on, was that a person or a place?'), but it's definitely a novel of which Bjørn Larssen should be very proud indeed, and if the magical and mythological floats your boat, I would recommend that you buy it without delay.

 

 

GORGE by Katherine Carlson

4.5 out of 5 stars

On Amazon UK
On Amazon.com
On Goodreads

How I discovered this book:  Amazon browse, downloaded on Kindle Unlimited.  Couldn't decide if the cover/title combo was inspired or ghastly, but it intrigued me enough to see what it was about, so it did its job!

In A Nutshell: Unhappy, overweight woman survives near death in the Montana wilderness; thriller, with dark humour.

Enjoyed this a lot, an unusual story indeed.  Southern girl Marty Clawson is morbidly obese and unhappily married to a man who has lost interest in her.  She is desperate to beat her cravings for food, and comes up with the idea of being stranded alone in the state park, with no access to fast food joints and cake shops.  When her marriage falls apart and she gets in touch with an old friend in Montana, she has no idea that her survival fantasies will become real—and a matter of life and death.

Most of the first half of the book is taken up with Marty's depressing life, in which she is trapped inside her mounds of excess flesh and inability to stop comfort-eating; we later find out why and when it began.  This part of the story is tragic but funny, and Marty is most likeable.  When she sets off for Montana, neither she nor the reader has any idea about the danger that awaits her.  

Without giving the plot away (because you really should read it yourself!), the nine days of Marty's ordeal are frightening, realistic (in that she doesn't suddenly become a survival expert), tragic, though still darkly humourous in places; it's a real page turner.

The only negative element about the book was that the author has used 'en' dashes instead of 'em' dashes throughout: instead of—this to set off a clause or add emphasis—, she has used this–without a space at either side, which I kept–mistaking–for–a hyphen.  Many times I had to go back and read the sentence twice, because I thought I'd read a hyphenated word.  But aside from this irritant, it's great.  I'm glad I clicked on that strange bright green cover that stood out in the list of of 'also boughts' on Amazon.  I shall seek out another book by her, some time.

 

If anyone is not sure of the difference between the en dash and the em dash and when each of them should be used, I have found this article which explains it clearly and concisely

 

RUM HIJACK by Phil Motel @motelacid

5 out of 5 stars

On Amazon UK
On Amazon.com
Also free on Kindle Unlimited

How I discovered this book:  I read and loved the original version...

In A Nutshell: Darkly humorous literary fiction about a delusional would-be writer.

Rum Hijack was originally written as three novellas, some years ago; I read them all as they came out, and loved them - now they're back as one novel, a new and improved version that retains all that I liked about the original, but is much more streamlined, better edited and put together so well that you can't see the join, as it were.

The nameless young male protagonist tells his story in the first person; later to call himself Inkker Hauser, he lives alone in a flat left to him by his grandfather, does not work, and leads a rather lonely life; often, his only company is his beloved goldfish, Kursk (named after his favourite nautical disaster), and the staff and drinkers at his local pub.

Inkker is convinced that he is destined to become a writer of such importance that, once his masterpiece is written, all other literary works will pale beside it.  He pours scorn on self-published ebook writers, on the pretentious and the less intelligent, sure that once his words burst forth, the world will recognise and revere his unmatched talent.  His lack of production he puts down to 'writer's block', and, as his frustration mounts, his grip on reality slides slowly down hill, lost in alcoholic and drug-induced chaos.

Although very much a contemporary novel, with its references to the technology and culture of today, the book it reminds me of most is Victorian comic novel Three Men In A Boat by Jerome K Jerome; similarly, the young man darts off at tangents to talk about something else in such a way that you don't mind because it's every bit as entertaining as the main story.  Also, the observations about human behaviour are both amusing and remarkably astute, and the standard of the writing itself is as good as any cult literary classic. 

Aside from this, what makes the book work so well is the fact that the young man is oddly likeable, despite his deranged alcoholism and cynical outlook.  I found myself really wanting him to find some love and peace of mind.  He is kind to the less fortunate, and to the old lady in a nearby flat, and his love for his fish is very sweet and quite heartbreaking, because he has no one else on which to focus.  There's also a terrifically moving section in which he talks at length about a childhood outing with his grandfather.

His loneliness and shame over the consequences of his bizarre actions is sometimes painful to read - having said that, though, one of my favourite parts in the entire book is the cringe-making downward spiral of a disastrous date, in which his behaviour becomes increasingly out of control as he drinks far too much and tops it up with cocaine.  The best 'bad date' story I've read!

If you like Charles Bukowski, Hunter Thompson, Philip K Dick, William Burroughs... I hope this book can gain the visibility and readership it deserves, because I believe it could become one of those novels about which, in years to come, people will say, "What?  You haven't read Rum Hijack?"

MONKEY TEMPLE by Peter Gelfan @GelfanP #RBRT

4 out of 5 stars

On Amazon UK
On Amazon.com
On Goodreads

How I discovered this book: it was submitted to Rosie's Book Review Team, of which I am a member.

In a Nutshell: Friends, wives and lovers and the complex dynamics of the relationships between them. Jules, a freelance editor, is jolted out of sliding unresistingly into old age by best buddy Ralston, and memories of the 1960s and 1970s.  Told in Jules' first person POV.

An unusual and entertaining book, mostly based around a short period during the twilight years of protagonist Jules, his wife, Ritz, and their mixed bunch of ageing hippie friends from the old days—mostly the complicated and high-maintenance Ralston, who is determined not to see Jules go gently into that good, comfortable retirement.  Mostly, it's about Jules' relationship with Ralston.

Deciding that the time has come to leave New York, he and Ralston go on a road trip to look for a house for Jules and Ritz.  When they find a possibility, Ralston has plans for it other than simply being his friends' last home.

Interspersed with present events are Jules's memories of their past, chaotic life; the travelling, the experiences and the sex, drugs and rock and roll of the 1960s and 70s.  For this reason I'd say it would be appreciated mostly by the over fifty-fives, those who have experienced the backpacking type of travelling or are familiar with, shall we say, a more erratic lifestyle; I think some of the references might go over the heads of anyone who ticks none of those boxes.  Maybe it's a book about old hippies for old hippies.

Much of the narrative and dialogue is centred around the subject of the characters' ageing processes, rubbish that is talked about 'alternative' philosophies, and also Jules's observations about the writing world.  I found myself smiling a lot, and highlighting passages I agreed with or enjoyed.  Alas, I forgot to highlight many, but here are a few.

(about Jules's client, who is writing novel based on her life)
'Problem is," I said, 'her life's not a story.'
...'Everyone's life is a story.'
'No it isn't.  Things happen, but that doesn't make it a story.'

'You can learn something by studying its opposite.  Like, who the hell knows how to be happy?  So instead, think about what makes you unhappy, and avoid it.'

'Doesn't it ever occur to you that ... when you don't like someone, it's because there's something very wrong with them?'
'Of course...and then I try to distinguish the subjective from the objective'.
'What a bunch of pseudo-intellectual bullshit. Nothing's objective...it's just a cop-out'

'The truth hit me.  The journey to transcend ego is an ego trip' 

Yes, I enjoyed this book, and would definitely recommend.  My only criticisms are practical ones; at £6.13/$7.97 for the Kindle version it's priced a bit high for the market, and the rather dull cover doesn't do the book justice, or give any indication that this is a dryly amusing, entertaining and poignant story about artists, writers and other colourful people who have spent their lives living and thinking outside the box.  I'd have chosen a sunset streaked road with a back view of Jules and Ralston driving over the horizon, corny though that may be—or a few of them sitting on the dilapidated porch of the Monkey Temple.

STORYTELLERS by Bjørn Larssen @bjornlarssen #RBRT

5 out of 5 stars

On Amazon UK
On Amazon.com
On Goodreads

How I discovered this book: it was submitted to Rosie's Book Review Team, of which I am a member, but I'd been interested in it since seeing the author talking about it on Twitter, so I bought a copy when it came out, anyway.

In a Nutshell: Icelandic history set in the 1920s, with moments of subtle humour.

I loved this book - it was a delight to read, an unusual debut novel by a writer with much talent.

The story tells of village blacksmith Gunnar, who is (at first glance) quite happy living in his shack with his dog, Ragnar, and his 'medicine' (alcohol).  One night, he takes in a climber with a broken ankle, Sigurd; with reluctance, Gunnar agrees to take care of him until he can walk again.  From the outset, it is clear that there is much mystery surrounding the stranger.

Meanwhile, Gunnar's life is picked apart by his doctor, the overbearing Brynhildur who wants to marry him, and the Conservative Women of Iceland who demand that he mend his heathen ways.  I loved these women - the Conservative Women number just two; they and Brynhildur were a joy to read.  The gossip and atmosphere of small village life reminded me of a Jane Austen novel, amusingly executed as it is.

This is actually a story within a story - the Icelandic winters are long and dark, and storytelling is a much loved pastime.  Threaded through Gunnar's own tale is another, told to him in instalments by Sigurd, about love, death and a feud between brothers.  Both stories are so compelling.

 
As we learn more about Gunnar, we discover the demons that lurk within, that he tries to banish with the moonshine that he makes in his shack.  

The atmosphere of the place and time is perfectly drawn, the characterisation is excellent, the dialogue authentic and amusing.  The ending is surprising, as the link between the stories is uncovered.  In these days when so many novels are jam-packed with events from start to finish, I enjoyed the slower pace of Storytellers; it has such charm that I still found it to be a 'page-turner', was reluctant to leave it when I had to, and sad to finish it.

The quality of the writing and storytelling is most definitely worthy of 5*.  When I read the book it contained a few editorial errors; Americanisms and phrases/words too modern for the time, but I believe these have now been remedied.  English is not the author's first language, and his command of its subtleties is, on the whole, outstanding, so I don't want to penalise him for that which should have been picked up by editors and proofreaders.

This a work of literary art that I recommend most highly; Bjørn Larssen is, indeed, an Icelandic storyteller.

Bjørn Larssen writes about Iceland 99 years ago 

Author Bio:

Bjørn Larssen - writer, blacksmith, mathematician, graphic designer, model (not all at the same time) was made in Poland. He is mostly located in Amsterdam, the Netherlands, except for his heart which he lost in Iceland. Born in 1977, he self-published his first graphic novel at the age of seven in a limited edition of one. Since then his short stories and essays were published in Rita Baum Art Magazine, Writer Unboxed, Inaczej Magazine, Edurada.pl, Homiki.pl, and Holandia Expat Magazine. He is a member of Alliance of Independent Authors and Writer Unboxed.

Bjørn used to speak eight languages (currently down to two and a half). His hobbies include sitting by open fires, dressing like an extra from Vikings, installing operating systems, and dreaming about living in a log cabin in the north of Iceland, even though he hates being cold. He has only met an elf once. So far.

ADVENTURES OF A SOUTHERN GIRL by Linda Sue Walker @LaloLafleur

4.5 out of 5 stars

On Amazon UK
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On Goodreads

How I discovered this book: I got talking to the author on Twitter  

In a Nutshell: Memoir; assorted snapshots of life, domestically orientated.

Linda Sue Walker has written a series of small articles in storylike form, about her life in Louisiana, with the odd excursion to extreme-weather-ridden Oklahoma, a weekend up a mountain, and more than a few hours spent at airports.  I was interested in this book because tales of small town America are something I love, particularly those from the Deep South.  I think it's because life there always seems so different from England, and I'm fascinated by how the US seems (to me, sometimes, anyway), to be more like 50 separate countries, in the way Europe is.  Each state is so different.

LSW has a great writing style; I loved the sort of daily life type memoirs in which not a great deal happens (give or take the odd flood, a run-in with White Trash thieves, and dangerous dehydration up the aforementioned mountain), but the writing style keeps you turning the pages and gives you the odd out-loud laugh.  Okay, quite a lot happens, but it's all still kind of cosy and domestic.  It's in the telling.  You know, like Bill Bryson, or the equally entertaining Barb Taub.  The stories centre around LSW's observations of others, her amused and amusing take on life.  It really is a delightful book, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

She has a great turn of phrase; here are a few examples I highlighted. 

'Mama's apartment was in an area called the Chauvin Basin.  'Basin' is primarily a British word; however, in French it means, "For the love of God, don't build your home here, it's going to flood."  That is not in Webster's, but it can be found in the Cajun dictionary.'

'We ate after I Lysoled off the table and chairs.  Of course Lysoled is a word.  It is the past tense of spraying Lysol on everything.  Of course, I never really quit spraying it, so I guess it is the present tense also.'

'I replied, "Oh, that's nice."  It's just something we southern ladies say a lot and it can mean anything from. "Are you out of your mind?" to "I have no idea how to reply to that," and lots of things in between.'

'We had two storm chasers at work because, you know, you need a spare.'

'Basically he married me for my Tupperware.... You see, he wanted some Tupperware but was too shy to go to a Tupperware party.  I had a lot of Tupperware so it was easier just to marry me and get the Tupperware by default.'

😁😁😁 

BAD PENNIES by John F Leonard @john_f_leonard

4 out of 5 stars

On Amazon UK
On Amazon.com
On Goodreads

How I discovered this book: Twitter

In a Nutshell: Lad Lit meets Supernatural/Horror.

Chris Carlisle is an ordinary guy doing an ordinary sales job that he hates, with a couple of mates that he sometimes loves and sometimes loves to hate, and a gorgeous girlfriend: the nauseating Becca.  She was meant to be nauseating, I think; something about the way she calls Chris 'special fellow' and 'my special man' all the time.  Chris is always skint, a typical lad lit hero who doesn't bother to clean up unless he's likely to have company.  He's a nice guy; you can't fail to like him, with all his flaws.  The scene-setting was quite long and fully sketched, which I liked; I'm not one who needs to be plunged into action on page one.  

At the end of most chapters are hints that danger is around the corner, in a 'little did she know this was the last time she would see him' sort of way.  I liked this; I thought it added to the suspense and made me want to keep turning the pages, and it worked along with the slightly comic book tone of the novel.  

Chris's life changes when he discovers a bulging wallet, the property of a man he saw run over.  It's not just an ordinary wallet...and Chris little understands that, by claiming it as his own, he has opened doors that should have remained shut.   There are some good dark and dingy descriptive pieces in the book, particularly a scene featuring a detective in the home of the repulsive Ronald Hodge, in the bleak and mysterious Empire Road.  

I enjoyed the 'real life' elements of this book most, and the darkly comedic side.  I liked the whole 'totally ordinary guy in super-weird extraordinary circumstances' thing.  John F Leonard has a witty, easy-to-read writing style, with some good turns of phrase: 

'No milkman in his right mind would have delivered to Brabham Building, Ashton High Street.  Even the postmen wanted stunt doubles and danger money.'

'...tall wide and ugly in every way you could imagine.  He looked like he ate BMWs for breakfast'

'My source of income, other than my shit job at the ISWS misery factory?  Well, you see, I found, sort of stole I suppose you could say if you wanted to get pedantic about it, an enchanted wallet.  Yeah, yeah, I know, it's shag me in the ass without lube mental, isn't it?' 

My general feel about the novel as a whole was that it needs another tidying-up draft, and perhaps the intervention of a more experienced copy editor/proofreader, to sort out the lack of vocative commas and the few editorial errors, and cut some of the funnies that need a bit of fine-tuning.  All of this would have made it the book it deserves to be; there is no doubt that Mr Leonard is a talented writer, and I enjoyed it.  I did guess the twist, from early on, but it's well done and was in no way obvious; my mind jumps ahead when I'm watching TV shows, too.  I especially appreciated the well-thought out last chapter and a great epilogue that definitely makes you want to see what happens next!