USS PRIMIS: The First Starship by M H Altis #RBRT

 3 out of 5 stars

On Amazon (universal link) - available on Sept 30.
On Goodreads

How I discovered this book: it was submitted to Rosie's Book Review Team, of which I am a member.

In a Nutshell: Saving humanity by moving it 500 light years away - what could possibly go wrong?

At the start of this book, the story reminded me of Raised by Wolves, an HBO series I thought was inspired, in which androids are sent to a far away planet to raise children from protected embryos, after Earth is all but destroyed.  Great concept!  In the case of USS Primis, it's a team of astronauts with human and animal embryos, and the planet to which they travel in hypersleep is 500 light years away.  I loved the author's idea for how the sun is destroyed - that in a peace treaty, all nations agree to fire their nuclear weapons into space, with disastrous consequences.  No idea if this is what would happen, but it works here!

In a way this was like two novels  The setting up of the story was, I felt, far too long.  The first half is mostly told in captain David's 1st person, in the form of a captain's log/diary, etc.  He gives a description of each crew member, outlining various intricacies of their personality; I think this works on the screen but not in a novel, where it feels like an unnecessary 'information dump'.  In a film you see the face, which makes them more likely to stick in your head.  I prefer to discover a character by their thoughts, words and actions rather than being given an outline of their character traits.  Though the writing certainly flows and is most accessible, David's 'banter' mode of narrative in the first half of the book didn't really work for me.

After the character descriptions was a long section about their two months quarantine before lift-off day, which I found neither necessary nor convincing, as the crew seemed more like a group of students than mature, experienced astronauts, aware of the gravity of their mission.  I felt I was waiting for the story to start, all the way through the first half.

Then, book two.  So much better, and not what I expected at all.  Another great twist in the tale, this time told by an omniscient narrator.  No more details because *spoilers* - you should be as surprised as I was.  I am most interested in the short stories in which the plot moves in a different direction; I'd love to read about life on Nova.

To sum up - I think it needs a good, thorough developmental/copy edit by someone who really knows their stuff, to get rid of errors, and also to think through some of the content - the novel must surely be set far into the future, but the lifestyle and cultural references about the world they've left behind made it sound like they set off in 2024, or earlier.  I was also unconvinced by David not knowing (and being surprised) that the AI could track the exact whereabouts on the ship of any of the astronauts.  Wouldn't that be a most basic facility?  And one of them clearly has extremely dark psychological problems - would she have been chosen for a mission such as this?

However, it's a fabulous basic story with masses of potential, and the writing itself has a great deal of promise.  With input from an experienced editor who really knows their stuff, the best of both could be brought out.   

LONDON TALES by Tim Walker @timwalker1666 #RBRT

 3 out of 5 stars

On Amazon (universal link)
On Goodreads

How I discovered this book: it was submitted to Rosie's Book Review Team, of which I am a member.

In a Nutshell: Short stories set in London, from the Romans to the future.

The mood of these stories varies a lot, from the early historical ones that are centred around actual historical events, to the more imaginative of the modern pieces.  At least half of the stories are set from the 20th Century onwards.

My favourite was the second story, about Wat Tyler and the Peasants' Revolt of the 14th Century, and I also liked the one set in 1666 to a ferocious backdrop of the Great Fire of London, about a gentleman being sought for his part in the murder of King Charles I, now that the Royalists were back in power.  These were both atmospheric and well researched, as was the first one about the Roman soldier; taught me a few interesting facts!

I was less keen on the stories from 1966 onwards; they didn't evoke the spirit of the times for me so much as I'd hoped.  Also, some of the dialogue seemed a tad unlikely, particularly in the story about two forty-somethings on a bender around 2015 (I think), where the dialogue's main purpose appeared to be as a vehicle to convey the author's research.  I would describe some of them as vignettes rather than stories.

I did like the future story, set in 2050.  It's always fun to read other people's ideas about how the years will pan out!

IF SHE WAKES by Erik Therme

3 out of 5 stars

On Amazon (universal link)

On Goodreads

How I discovered this book: it was submitted to Rosie's Book Review Team, of which I am a member.

In a Nutshell: dark family drama

I didn't realise when I opened this novel on my Kindle that it was a sequel, as I don't look a book up on Amazon after choosing it for review so I can't be influenced by others.  I gather that in the first book, Tess and Josh's daughter Lily was killed in an RTA by Brady, after which Tess stalked his family (wife Meg and daughter Amy), and Meg faked Amy being kidnapped.  Also, Tess's brother Colin died of cancer - he was married to Torrie, and they have a son, Levi.  I learned this from a prologue and first chapter that contained a little too much exposition; a brief 'story so far' in the introduction might have worked better.

The title refers to Torrie, who falls into a coma early in the story, the rest of which centres around Tess and Josh's necessary but difficult relationships with Torrie's family members, as care for Levi is of prime importance.  Mysteries abound concerning Torrie and her family.  Although certain conclusions are reached by the end of the book, it's clear that it's making way for a third novel as the story is by no means finished.

I'm afraid I found this novel a little 'flat'; it flowed well and is professionally presented; the author has thought up a reasonable plot and delivered it, and the characters are fairly well represented.  The emotional problems within Tess and Josh's marriage are well written and realistic, but none of the characters are likeable (you need at least one person to root for!) and I felt that the conversation and narrative lacked spark.  An example: 'I nod, as if I didn't already know this. "Better to go tonight and get it done, as something might change in the morning, and we wouldn't have time.  I'll go.  I just need a few minutes to relax after I finish clearing the table.  It's been a long day".'  It's all like that.  Nothing wrong with it, but it just didn't grab me.  A couple of times I got a little excited by what appeared to be the beginning of a good plot line, but each time it fizzled out quickly. The twist at the end was over-explained and a bit tenuous, I thought.

It's not bad, but for me it was just 'okay'.  This is, of course, always so subjective, and others might feel differently, particularly if they loved the first book.

DEAD MEAT: DAY 1 by Nick Clausen #RBRT

3 out of 5 stars

On Amazon UK
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On Goodreads

How I discovered this book: it was submitted to Rosie's Book Review Team, of which I am a member.

In a Nutshell: Beginning of zombie apocalypse

This is a long short story, possibly a novelette, illustrating Day One of a zombie apocalypse; I read it on a long train journey.  It is described as a novella in the blurb, but it didn't feel that long. 

What I liked:

• The basic premise: a day-by-day account of the zombie apocalypse.
• How the outbreak was supposed to have started; an unusual and clever idea, not one I'd read before.
• The characterisation was good, with each of the three protagonists clearly defined, in their dialogue, actions and (most importantly) their inner thoughts; the relationship between the three is explained early, and works well.
• The pace is good, and the writing mostly flows well. 
• That the book was written in the present tense, which I always prefer for more suspense and immediacy.

What I was not so sure about:

• One of the main three characters is supposed to have seen loads of zombie films and every episode of The Walking Dead, but, when his group are trapped in a room with a zombie the other side and discussing their options for escape, does not appear to have learned how to kill them.  They devise complicated plans that involve throwing stuff over them; they seem to think it more important to cut their arms off rather than kill the brain—the emphasis is on not getting scratched (which may but may not kill you) as opposed to getting bitten (which means a painful death and reawakening as a zombie).
• I was confused earlier on because Thomas, Dan and Jennie were talking about the police not existing any more, and their family and friends possibly having become the walking dead, yet I thought the zombie they encountered in this house was supposed to be Patient Zero.  This is resolved to a certain extent, but at first I kept flicking back because I wasn't quite sure what was going on.
• Flashbacks are written in the present tense, which I don't think worked.
• Too much use of the present continuous: 'the heat wave is going on' and 'the windows are sitting high', instead of 'the heat wave continues' and 'the windows sit high', for instance, which would have read so much better; some of the sentences were a little flat or clumsy.

Basically, it's a great idea and reads fairly well, but I think it needs some more redrafting and fine-tuning to make it live up to its potential.

UPON US by Blakely Chorpenning #RBRT

3 out of 5 stars

On Amazon UK
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How I discovered this book: it was submitted to Rosie's Book Review Team, of which I am a member.

In a Nutshell: Post-apocalyptic romance

I requested this book from the review team list because it looked right up my street - a world in decline, in which governments have agreed to plunge the planet back into the Dark Ages in order to let it recover (I assume).  This book takes place twenty-five years in, when crops are dying and a zombie-esque plague is on the warpath.  It is placed in the 'New Adult' in category, ie, aimed at ages 18-30; I'd put it towards the younger end of this range, or possibly even YA.

I'll start by saying that the author writes well; she uses some lovely descriptive terms, her characterisation and dialogue is mostly fine, the story flows well, and the book - not a long one - has obviously been professionally proofread.  Sadly, though, the world building left me with too many unanswered questions, though it's an interesting and unusual premise.  Of course, all post-apocalyptic and futuristic, dystopian worlds are products of the author's imagination, but I think more time needed to be spent on thinking through how this 'New Beginning' took place, its orchestration, the events leading up to it and the aftermath, to the extent that I wondered if a more simple plot, like just the virus, might have been easier to work with.

The book starts so well, with the protagonist lying in wait to ambush a man (one of the 'Privileged') to help her and these clans obtain food; there has obviously been careful research into survival methods and ancient ways of cooking and growing food, which I liked, and there is no doubt that Ms Chorpenning can write; I think that if she worked with a really good developmental editor to help her create her world in a more fully-rounded sense, this book could be terrific.

FAT BOY by Joseph Cobb

3 out of 5 stars

On Amazon UK
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How I discovered this book: it was submitted to Rosie's Book Review Team, of which I am a member.

In a Nutshell: Contemporary drama, humour, sometimes dark.

Fat Boy was not what I expected from the blurb - it's actually an experimental sort of structure, more a series of short stories, poems and scenarios than a novel, though they do tie up later.

The setting is mostly the English West Country, though it may not be one you recognise, with its humorous and fantastical characters.

Joseph Cobb clearly has much creativity and a good eye for the absurd, leaning towards observational humour.  I think this book has potential, though it needs further editing.  There are many delightful turns of phrase, amusing metaphors, funny situations and comic book characters, but some areas felt a little 'first draft', with lazily structured sentences and rambling paragraphs that simply needed more attention.  The book as a whole comes over as somewhat haphazard, as if the author's many imaginative ideas have been splashed across the pages without much thought for cohesion; I couldn't work out, at first, what I was supposed to be reading; was this a book of short stories?  Was Chapter 2 related to Chapter 1?  I even looked at other reviews to see if it was just me, but they were all one-liners, so didn't afford any insight. Chapter 3 was written in poetry format, about yet more characters who appeared again later in the book.  The poems were amusing and well put together, for the most part.

To sum up, I'd say that that Fat Boy has much to commend it, but I would recommend further redrafting to tighten it up, and perhaps the assistance of an experienced content editor to streamline and cut the superfluous, thus highlighting its strengths.

NOT HERE by Genevieve Nocovo

3 out of 5 stars

On Amazon UK
On Amazon.com
On Goodreads

How I discovered this book: it was submitted to Rosie's Book Review Team, of which I am a member.

In a Nutshell: Mystery/thriller set in San Francisco.

Dina Ostica, a 23 year old podcaster living alone in San Francisco, has a troubled background after escaping a difficult relationship.  The mystery begins when her friend, an old hippie who is her go-to source for material for her podcasts about life in and the history of the city, disappears.

I thought the atmosphere of the city came across as most authentic; it is clear that the author has a fine knowledge of the place.  I liked the subject matter; Dina's story was very 'current', with issues raised so relevant to this part of the 21st century.  The problem I had with the book as a whole, though, was that it felt rather flat.  There were too many irrelevancies that were not woven into the story, like what people wore and what they ate, intricate detail about gym sessions and mundane conversational exchanges.  Dina is written in the third person, in such a way that we never experience her inner thoughts; we are told how she feels, or what she thinks about something, but I felt that I was being supplied with information, rather than getting to know a character.

The plot is well put together (aside from the fact that I couldn't work out how Dina hoped to make enough money to live on from podcasting), the ideas are interesting and the book is professionally presented, but the writing itself needs some work if this series is to become memorable.  The information was all there, such as what a place looked like and what happened after what had happened previously, but I never felt involved in the story or the characters.

I believe this is the author's debut novel.  It is competent and the basics are there, with some excellent plotting and slow build of suspense; she just needs to work on really getting inside the head of her characters, seeking ways to make her storytelling more captivating, and her dialogue more realistic, character revealing and interesting.

THE TOMATO QUEST by D G Driver

3 out of 5 stars

On Amazon UK
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On Goodreads

 

How I discovered this book: it was submitted to Rosie's Book Review Team, of which I am a member.

In a nutshell: Fairy story/sweet romance, long-short story.

In an undisclosed historical era and place, this story is about lowly gardener Dash, who wants to marry the daughter of the noble for whom he works.  Dismissing his request, Lilian's father sets him a task: he hands him a box of tomatoes and says that if he can make his fortune before they rot, he may have Lilian's hand in marriage.  Then follows adventure after adventure, as he struggles to complete the seemingly impossible, while Lilian does her best to postpone the engagement to the man her parents want her to marry.

This is a fun idea and a nicely put together story.  I admit to being slightly bothered throughout by the incorrect use of titles; for instance, a 'Sir' should be referred to by both first and surnames, never as 'Sir Barrymore', and a Duke would be known as the Duke of such-and-such a place, not as Duke followed by his surname.  This sort of thing is easy to find out; I just checked it in a few minutes on Google, to make sure I wasn't wrong.  Having said that, the story has fantasy elements, so perhaps it doesn't matter too much!  It should appeal to lovers of fairy tale romance and happy endings.



 

THE BABY ON THE BACK PORCH by Lucia N. Davis @LNDavisAuthor

3 out of 5 stars

On Amazon UK
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How I discovered this book: it was submitted to Rosie's Book Review Team, of which I am a member.

Genre: Short story, mystery, ghosts.

San Francisco girl Sara rents a mountain cabin as a retreat, having been through a difficult year with a relationship break-up and bereavement.  As luck would have it, the landlord is the handsome, single David.  No sooner has Sara got settled in than she starts to have sightings of a bear in the garden... and then everything goes from bad to worse, to dangerous and inexplicable. 

This is a nicely written story, presented well, and I didn't guess what was going to happen, always a plus with a mystery.  I did find the style a little safe; it's all very 'nice', so perhaps just not really for me, though I imagine it would appeal to perhaps an older readership who like a 'clean read', and enjoy a light, undemanding drama.  It took me about an hour to read.

DOCTOR PERRY by Kirsten McKenzie @kiwimrsmac

3 out of 5 stars

On Amazon UK
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On Goodreads

How I discovered this book: it was submitted to Rosie's Book Review Team, of which I am a member.

Genre: Dark comedy/horror

Doctor Perry is an evil medical man from the pages of an Edwardian horror story, complete with black leather doctor's bag and a curious potion he asks patients to drink.   The crux of the plot is about what happens when you drink said potion; this came as a surprise to me, and the build-up to it was well done.

Much of the action takes pace in a retirement home, with an abundance of characters.  Some are well-drawn and realistic (Elijah, the main man, was particularly good), others conforming to perceived stereotypes, which I felt was intentional, as this is not a 'serious' horror story.  I changed my mindset about what I was reading once I saw that Perry is more a like a dastardly doctor you might see walking out of the mists on an old BBC drama, or a Jekyll and Hyde type old film.  Patients drink a 'tonic' from Perry (rather than one obtained via a pharmacy) with little questioning about what it contains.  Of course this is pure pantomime, in an era when many patients look up even prescribed medication on the internet to make sure it is safe.

The writing is generally good, with wit and understanding of human nature (always a plus) but it needs another go-through with a copy-editor/proofreader who knows how to punctuate/has more of an eagle eye.  There was a fair bit of incorrect punctuation, mostly missing commas or commas that should have been semicolons, and many, many run-on sentences/comma splices.  The sort of uncorrected punctuation errors present in the book are not of the type that would be noticed by everyone, perhaps only by those they call 'punctuation Nazis', but unfortunately I am one of these!

LUCKY STAR by Holly Curtis

3 out of 5 stars

On Amazon UK
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How I discovered this book: it was submitted to Rosie's Book Review Team, of which I am a member.

Genre: 1980s nostalgia, coming of age

Set in 1984, this story opens with a group of schoolboys who go on a shoplifting trip to Guernsey, keen to get their hands on designer sports gear they crave.  Protagonist Ben is particularly desperate for a certain pair of trainers.  This is intermingled with him seeing the gorgeous Susie and falling instantly in love with her, all set to a backdrop of Madonna's Lucky Star.

What I liked:
1. It's nicely written, and flows well; it's an easy read.  The characterisation is very good, I thought, and the dialogue is, for the most part, realistic; natural.  I liked the usage of regional slang words like 'dinlo' and 'clump' (and the fact that the author didn't feel the need to explain them!).
2. There are elements that are very typical of kids of that age, and it's good to read about a time when young people didn't have their eyes permanently fixed on smartphone screens.  It certainly ticked a few nostalgia boxes.

What I was less sure about:
1. The basic premise.  I realise the kids who flogged the designer gear would have had money, but where did Ben and his friends get the cash to travel to Guernsey, get taxis, eat in cafés, buy beer, etc?  There was no indication of him asking his aunt for it.  I also don't buy that a group of daft 16 year olds suddenly became proficient at shoplifting from upmarket shops, where assistants know all the tricks.  I think it's a fun idea that needed a bit more thinking through.
2. I found the whole Susie-love-at-first-sight thing a little hackneyed, more like something you would see in a 1980s film, but the 'coming of age' genre has grown more sophisticated since then; also I felt the whole novel needed chopping down a bit.

So not really for me, but the fact that it's nicely written and the characterisation is good, and it has the nostalgia thing going on means it may appeal to those who like a light read about a time they remember, and enjoyed films like Ferris Bueller's Day Off. 

HIDEAWAY by Roger Hayden

First two books: 3 out of 5 stars
Third book: 2 out of 5 stars

On  Amazon UK
On  Amazon US
On Goodreads

How I discovered these books: Amazon browse.

Genre: EMP strike, post apocalyptic, survival

Okay.... this is a weird one.  The first book (Book 0) was free.  It has a fair few bad reviews on .com (as well as some good ones), but I adore this genre so thought I'd give it a try.  It's a short novella about an EMP strike on the US (electromagnetic pulse, taking down the power grid, also cars, phones, etc, are useless) by the North Koreans, with the story set in St Louis, Missouri.  It opens with a Negan style scenario, a few weeks after the disaster when everyone is surviving as best they can, with a stronger group attacking a weaker one and demanding all their stuff.  It was a bit amateur in style, with tense and grammar errors, daft dialogue, etc.  But I decided to read on and see if got any better.  It did!   The next chapter steps back to just before the strike.  Main character, novelist James, has to rescue his news reporter wife Marla from downtown now that the city is in chaos.  They meet up with prepper Larry, who says they can go out to his cabin in order to survive; Larry can see the writing on the wall.  Back at James's house, the National Guard arrive and start hauling everyone off to refugee camps. 

The free book ended with a humdinger of a cliffhanger, and by then I was enjoying it, despite its downsides.  The building panic and James's dilemmas about whether to help people or go find Marla were so well done; the author can certainly build suspense and tell a story, and the whole situation about James's neighbours believing that the National Guard were their saviours, vs Larry's assurance that martial law would be no picnic, was gripping.  The cliffhanger was so well-placed that I downloaded the next part straight away.

Confusion One: Part 2 is called Book 1.  Confusion Two:  It is also called Hideaway, but at least the author has remembered to put his name on the cover of this one.  

I expected to pick up from where the last one ended, but instead the first 20% is a re-hash of first part of the story, this time told from Marla's point of view.  As we'd already been down the shock-horror-what's-going-on road, I couldn't see the point of this, as it didn't add anything to the plot.  I don't mind a little revisiting via a different POV now and again, but there has to be a reason for it.  So I skimmed through that bit and started to enjoy it again once we got back on the road in the Larrymobile.  Up in the cabin now, then down in the nearby town, townie James ignores Larry's survivalist advice and brings a whole bunch of trouble on.  The genre clichés have been criticised in some of the bad reviews, but I was more bothered by James managing to hit and kill moving targets despite having hardly even knowing how a gun worked the week before.   More unnecessary adverbs and evidence of non-existent editing, such as this contradictory and repetitive beauty: 

He could tell in her expression that she noticed the 

unfamiliar plain blue shirt he was wearing, different from 

the University of Tennessee one he was wearing before he left.  

But it was a minor detail, and he didn't think she'd notice.

BUT I was still enjoying the suspense, the story itself and the good characterisation of James and Larry.  The cliffhanger was more of a stop half-way through a scene this time, but I really wanted to know what happened so I downloaded the next one: Part 3, called Book 2, also called Hideaway, again with no author name on the cover.  

Here we meet the 1980s version of Charles Manson, who Marla suddenly remembers being in the papers.  Unfortunately, this one doesn't appear to have any actual credo apart from saying that he wants world domination and to kill all outsiders.  This third part was a bit too daft; the basic idea of a cult leader was good, but it seemed like the writer had had a fair idea but couldn't be bothered to think the details through.  Then the goodies lock up/kill the baddies and it just sort of stops.  And that is a better ending than the book had.  Aside from this, the scenario from the prologue in the free book is never mentioned again or re-visited, although one of the baddies later encountered by James is in it, but I kept waiting for the tie-in that never came ~ it's like the author forgot he'd written it, which is one of the reasons I wonder if the book was even read through before publishing.

To sum up:

The Good:  This guy can write, there is no doubt about that, and I would rather read a book like this than something immaculately edited, proofread and structured by a writer with very little story-telling talent.  During the first two books I wanted to keep turning the pages, which is what so much of this writing thing is all about.

The Bad:  It's a mess, structurally, so much so that it's almost like an exercise in how not to structure a novel.  It needs taking back to the drawing board, and the help of a good content editor, followed by a copy (line) editor and/or a proofreader.  It reads like a first draft: great in places, dreadful in others.  But if it went through a few re-writes, was edited and proofread properly, it could be a terrific book.  Like, just one book.  The 'series' was no longer than an average sized novel; I don't understand the point of dividing it up, it was just irritating.  And a tip for the writer, if he ever reads this: rather than suddenly introducing new characters that existing ones suddenly remember they remember, it works better to at least mention them early on, or show a scene from their POV.  Something.

The Weird:  Love the pictures on the cover, though I don't understand why the middle one has a picture of boats and water, as the story takes place in a city and wooded mountains, and someone ought to tell Mr H about the name thing.  Okay, I guess I just did.

Possibly the most curious set of books I've come across since I've been buying Kindle, which is why I had to keep reading and also felt compelled to review it, but I really do think it has masses of potential to be very good indeed.

SKINHEAD by Richard Allen

3 out of 5 stars

On Amazon UK
On Goodreads 

How I discovered this book:  This book first came out in 1970, the first and most well-known of a series of cult novels by Richard Allen.  I went to a fairly rough school from 1970-1972*, where the (scary) skinhead girls of the 3rd and 4th years would lend it to we 12-year-old babies.  It got passed round the whole class, and I remember it used to fall open at Chapter 8, the rude bit.  When I spotted the new digital version during an Amazon browse, I had to buy it to see how it had stood the test of time, and if it was as bad as people said it was, even then.

Genre: violence, crime, social comment.

Briefly:  The story tells of a couple of weeks in the life of Joe Hawkins, the 16-year-old leader of a skinhead gang from Plaistow, East London.

Violence - tick
Sexual content - tick
Nudity - tick
Bad language - tick
Racism - tick
Sexual violence - tick

It's hard to give this a star rating as there are so many elements to take into consideration.  As a piece of pop culture history, it's a gem.  The characterisation is pretty good, and it certainly kept me turning the pages.   Now and again clever insights are succinctly delivered, and the atmosphere of the time - the post-1960s optimism, pre-decimalisation era, when the East End no longer ruled, is so well illustrated I almost felt nostalgic for a time and place about which I know little.  A soldier, Jack Piper, who falls foul of Hawkins' bovver boots, talks about the fate of his working class parents in the dreariest part of London in a way that is quite heartbreaking.  The attitudes of the older working classes, particularly the police, to the new liberalism of the 1970s is, I dare say, spot on.

...but then there's the exposition, the bad punctuation (the proofreader from the New English Library, its first publisher, must have thought that a semicolon is a random alternative for a comma, whenever you feel like it), the exclamation marks, the lazy grammar... and, in places, lack of research/realism.  'Richard Allen' (pen name) was nearly 50 when this was written, and it's clear he doesn't know what the effects of 'pot' are, or even that it wasn't called that by anyone other than newspaper reporters.  He appears to think that all hippies, or 'hairies' (haven't heard that word since 1972!) are unemployed and indulge in regular orgies.  Joe Hawkins and his band of thugs never use the 'f' word, and call people things like 'stupid idiots', though the 'c' word does appear once or twice.  

It's really quite a horrible book, depressing and nasty, from Joe himself (who, Allen makes clear, is not the victim of social deprivation or an abusive childhood, but was born a psychopath), to the way women are portrayed (old bags or total slags), to the way in which the older people worry about the lack of control over the new breed of thugs.  Yet I kept turning the pages.  Go figure, as they say.

Oh, and by the way, the Chapter 8 'rude bit' is no stronger than anything you might read in one of today's mainstream 'steamy' romances.  In an age when you see more explicit stuff in network TV dramas than would have been included in under-the-counter soft porn films in Joe Hawkins' day, it is quite tame.  And actually not badly written.


*I was 'lucky' enough to experience the first year of easing into the new comprehensive school system, which meant not being able to go to the Grammar School until I was 13.  I think this had an adverse effect on my whole attitude to education, and possibly my whole life, because I had to learn to be rebellious in order not to get picked on by the rougher girls.  On the other hand, it probably taught me an interesting snippet or two that came in handy later in life, when I started writing. 

ASSAULTED SOULS by William Blackwell

3 out of 5 stars

On Amazon UK
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How I discovered this book: it was submitted to Rosie's Book Review Team, of which I am a member.

Genre: Post Apocalyptic

This first instalment of the Assaulted Souls series is a short novel (possibly a novella) of just 183 pages.  The setting is an alternative reality ~ the year 2016, three months after a nuclear blast.  The story opens with Nathan King - who has lost his memory due to a fall from a balcony - waking up in a cave with a man he doesn't recognise and no recollection about how he got there.  Great opening.  We soon find out that the cave is on Prince Edward Island, which I assume to be off the coast of Canada, and Nathan begins to piece facts together via information from the stranger (Edward) and his own still hazy memory.

Elsewhere, Nathan's girlfriend, Cadence, is held captive by the cannibalistic Thorvald.  In another cave we meet escaped convicts Karl and Russ.  Everyone is scared of the Neanderthals, a group of other escaped convicts from the same facility as Karl and Russ.

This opening to the series has a lot going for it; there is some excellent, amusing dialogue (both spoken and inner), and the setting descriptions totally worked; I could imagine every scene.  It rips along, and I found each character to be clearly defined from the outset.  Mr Blackwell can certainly write, and this is one of my favourite genres. 

However, much though I enjoyed the author's writing style and humour, I feel that the book needs more work ~ careful redrafting, the fine-tuning of ungrammatical sentences, and more attention to structure.  The backstory of some important issues, such Nathan's amnesia and the nuclear blast itself, are brushed off in the odd short paragraph (some of which read like notes that were written with the intention of expanding them in a later draft), whereas a story about some trouble with a difficult tenant in Nathan's past life was more detailed than necessary for such short book, and not particularly relevant; the tenant does appear later on, but is in and out within a couple of pages.  Mr Blackwell is clearly imaginative, articulate and can write some captivating sentences (which is much of what writing a good book is all about), but there were too many that made me go 'ouch'. At first I was highlighting passages and making the note 'ill-thought out sentence'.  As I found myself highlighting more and more, I shortened it to 'ITOS'.  Then I gave up.   A few examples:

'..his stomach was still knotted with hunger and when he had woke up this morning he had even...' ~ either 'when he woke up', or 'when he had woken'.

'The radiation had already infected his mind, producing a stark raving lunatic'.  Better: 'turning him into a stark etc', or something like 'producing worrying psychotic tendencies'; I think the phrase 'stark raving lunatic' is a more like something you'd read in a comic book, anyway. 

There are run-on sentences (two independent clauses without an appropriate punctuation mark or conjunction to separate them) and non-sentences such as this: 'Suddenly banging and growling at the door.'

To sum up, the basics are all there, but in my opinion it needs fleshing out, more re-drafting and the help of a good copy editor for it to stand up as the good example of this genre that it could be.



Note: If anyone is looking for such a thing, the best editor I know of, Alison Williams, has 20% off bookings in April and May this year.  More HERE.

BROKEN BRANCHES by Ben Ellis

3 out of 5 stars

On Amazon UK
On Amazon.com
On Goodreads

How I discovered this book: it was submitted to Rosie's Book Review Team, of which I am a member.

Genre: UK dystopian, futuristic

The basic plot:
In the future, all men in Britain are sterile. Fertility drugs for procreation are given only to couples whose genetic matches are approved by the state. Those without a family history to prove their genetic heritage are known as broken branches, treated as inferior citizens and not allowed to breed, so that the genetic purity of the National Family Tree will be preserved.  On presenting an application to have a child, each case is decided upon by a jury of over forty people, randomly chosen from the genetically approved public.

The novel contains some feasible ideas about the not too distant future: compulsory DNA sampling at birth, genetic enhancement of a foetus being the norm, and, of course, the necessity for health insurance, usually provided by an employer, which some say we are heading towards sooner rather than later.  Mr Ellis shows some nice turns of phrase and imaginative metaphors, and I liked some of the philosophy (often inner dialogue) about the human race as a whole.

On the whole, though, I felt the finished article needed a bit more thinking through. I needed to know straight away why all the men were sterile, but it is not revealed until half way through.  Several generations before, a male contraceptive pill had been introduced in order to control population, that ended up causing sterility.  Hmm.  I'm not convinced that many men would take it in the first place, given that virility is an important element of the masculine identity.  A character called Maiya doesn't know she is infertile until told by a doctor that she was the victim of a government sterilisation programme, but neither we nor Maiya are told what this programme was, and for some reason she doesn't ask.  I had too many unanswered questions, generally. 

Other stuff I liked: early on, the 'pub culture' scenes are well done and authentic.  When protagonists Grace and Tom submit their application to become parents, we are shown snapshots of the conversations between couples chosen as the 'jury', to show how they arrived at the decision, an inspired touch which made for an entertaining and revealing sideshow about human nature; I would have loved more like this.  Alas, though, there was a lack of individuality in the dialogue, generally; practically all couples call each other 'love'.  Almost all the characters have short tempers and say 'fuck' a lot.  Sometimes the technology appeared not to have moved on as it might; it's meant to be several generations into the future but people still talk about their 'mobile' phones, a phrase that's started to sound a little outdated even now.

Interspersed between the main chapters are some curious short ones written from the point of view of someone who turned out to be a computer programmer (I think).  Some of it is a bit 'fourth wall', about the writing and publication of the book itself.  He talks about a new programme called 4cast which can programme futures according to DNA and data collected all over the world ~ another of the great ideas present in the novel.  Again, though, it all seemed a bit haphazard.

To sum up: an original story containing imaginative, unusual concepts.  I read all the after-book acknowledgements, etc., and must thank the author for the Wikipedia entry about the Tasmanian aboriginals ~ fascinating stuff, it led me to look up more.  Ellis thanks his beta readers for 'getting through the third draft' ~ speaking as a writer who still finds dodgy bits as late as the fifth draft, I felt it could have done with another one or two.  The grammar and punctuation (copy editing) is mostly fine, but I think some professional content editing would make this book as good as it could be.